Saturday, December 16, 2006

We are not alone

Wikipedia has a great posting about Baseball metaphors for sex, including this classic Woodie Allen bit:
"That was two o'clock in the morning, and I get my date back to her apartment, and the two of us are alone, and we're going pretty good. I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately ... passionate ... man. Volatile. Sensual. In general a stud. When making love ... when making love ... in an effort ... to prolong ... the moment of ecstasy ... I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too ... I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won."
Good Wood.

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